Joint Finances: A Guide for Couples
Did you know that 25% of couples surveyed in a study by Fidelity reported money as their greatest relationship challenge?
It can absolutely be difficult to be open and honest about your finances with a significant other. As we’ve discussed in this series, money is a common source of conflict in our culture, often stemming from doubt or distrust. But learning how to have those tough conversations can open couples up to the satisfaction and rewards of building a financial life together.
In this edition of our “How to Talk About Money With the People You Love” series, we breakdown how couples can approach conversations around joint finances, step-by-step. Let’s dive in!
Knowing the right time to start the conversation is key to ensuring both parties feel respected and comfortable. While it might be tempting to wait until a milestone, such as a big purchase or moving in together, we suggest starting the conversation early. Don’t wait until a stressful situation arises, like someone losing a job or planning a big vacation. By getting ahead of it, you can establish a culture of communication that makes future conversations easier.
Tip: Approach the conversation with empathy.
Start with your intention, for example “I’d like to talk about our financial goals so we can support each other and build trust in our relationship.” Remember that honesty is a sign of respect. If your partner is uncomfortable, don’t be pushy. Listen to their concerns and acknowledge them. If it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time, but consider reinforcing why transparency and planning is important to you.
The topics up for discussion may depend on what stage of the relationship you’re in. Here are a few to consider:
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It can absolutely be difficult to be open and honest about your finances with a significant other. As we’ve discussed in this series, money is a common source of conflict in our culture, often stemming from doubt or distrust. But learning how to have those tough conversations can open couples up to the satisfaction and rewards of building a financial life together.
In this edition of our “How to Talk About Money With the People You Love” series, we breakdown how couples can approach conversations around joint finances, step-by-step. Let’s dive in!
Starting the Conversation
Knowing the right time to start the conversation is key to ensuring both parties feel respected and comfortable. While it might be tempting to wait until a milestone, such as a big purchase or moving in together, we suggest starting the conversation early. Don’t wait until a stressful situation arises, like someone losing a job or planning a big vacation. By getting ahead of it, you can establish a culture of communication that makes future conversations easier. Tip: Approach the conversation with empathy.
Start with your intention, for example “I’d like to talk about our financial goals so we can support each other and build trust in our relationship.” Remember that honesty is a sign of respect. If your partner is uncomfortable, don’t be pushy. Listen to their concerns and acknowledge them. If it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time, but consider reinforcing why transparency and planning is important to you.
Topics of Discussion
The topics up for discussion may depend on what stage of the relationship you’re in. Here are a few to consider:Early on in the relationship:
- Current Financial Situation: Discuss your individual financial status including income, savings, and ongoing financial obligations. This ensures both partners are fully aware of the starting point.
- Financial Goals: Share your short-term and long-term financial goals. This could include saving for a house, planning a vacation, retirement, or other major life events.
- Debt Management: Be open about any debts you have, such as student loans, credit card debt, or car loans. Remember that debt is a tool and shouldn’t be looked at with judgment.
When the relationship becomes more serious:
- Budgeting Approach: Discuss how you’ll handle day-to-day finances, like bill payments, grocery shopping, and other recurring expenses. Establish roles/responsibilities and possibly a joint budget that works for both of you.
- Spending Habits: Talk about your spending habits, priorities, and any areas where you may want to cut back or change. Understanding each other's approach to spending helps avoid conflicts down the road.
- Communication and Check-ins: Set up a regular time to review your finances together. This helps keep both partners informed and involved in financial decisions, fostering ongoing communication.
When planning to combine finances:
- Access and Decision-Making: Determine how you’ll handle account access and decision-making. Will both partners have equal responsibilities with the account, or will one take the lead on managing it? To prevent misunderstandings or disputes, find agreement on how you’ll make spending decisions for the joint account.
- Savings Strategies: Talk about how much you each plan to save each month and where that money will go (emergency fund, investments, etc.). This is key to creating an equitable strategy.
- Financial Roles and Responsibilities: Decide who will handle which aspects of your finances, such as who will pay bills, manage savings, or track spending. Clear roles can help avoid confusion and missed payments.
A Rewarding Future
Conversations around money with significant others can be some of the toughest conversations you’ll have. But creating a judgment-free, supportive long-term strategy that works for you both can feel amazing. By being transparent around finances and creating healthy money habits, you can reap the rewards of pursuing your goals together.Point Breeze Picks
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Romance Scams
Even if you’re in a happy relationship, learn more about this common financial scam and learn what to watch out for to protect the people in your life.
Become a Member
Not a member? Not a problem! Learn more about how you can join our community and get started with friendly, reliable banking today.
Point Breeze Credit Union is a full-service financial institution with locations throughout Maryland.